Them Old Corporate Blues.
I have performed many corporate shows in the last five decades. However, I have always had mixed feelings about these corporate gigs. What do I like about them? That’s easy, I love the money. What don’t I like? Practically everything else! I have learned a lot about corporate shows and would like to offer some tips to avoid those old corporate blues.
The first time I remember this kind of work having its own classification was in the late ‘70s when they were referred to as “Industrials,” a term that very quickly lost favor and was replaced by the term Corporate Show. Later, as if to equalize some strange and non-existent stigma, these kinds of gigs were referred to as Private Dates. This never really caught on with entertainers who not unreasonably used this term to refer to bookings for individuals.
If you are booking a corporate show through a representative of the company, and not an outside source, the consequences can be sky-high for that unlucky soul who seals the deal and signs the contract for an independent entertainer to represent their company by entertaining at a corporate function. If the show goes wrong the individual can and will be held directly responsible and they may well be fired. The fact that the executive who booked the entertainment has no real knowledge about what they are doing, didn’t ask to do it, and receives no extra pay for doing so, is neither here nor there. It isn’t fair but that is just the way it is.
This is the reason larger corporations use specialty bookers and producers to hire their talent—plausible deniability for the executives involved. This is the reason why corporate buyers are very careful with the talent they hire. A joke that is too risqué or an unacceptable choice of words during a show, and that buyer could lose a high-budget client in less time than it took to tell the joke or say the word.
What are these pivotal triggers that must never be pulled, mistakes to avoid, and red lines in the sand that must never be crossed by a comedy magician? Well, pretty much what you would expect, but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t run through them here. Here is a breakdown of some thoughts that might improve your learning curve.
1 No bad language of any sort. It doesn’t matter what the executive who booked you might have said about the “guys” liking it a little blue. It only takes one person to complain and all hell can break loose post-show. Your language should be purer than the driven snow. Don’t even say, “Damn” because that is short for “God Damn” which can be a problem. Darn or Dang is OK though. You might want to say, “Gosh!” Instead of expressing dismay by exclaiming, “S#@T” you might not want to replace it with, “Shoot” because someone might mishear you. Try something kinda’ retro like, “Oh, Brother” which worked just great for Jack Benny. Everyone will know what you meant anyhow and will respect your savvy for not saying it. It is wise to remember that although an executive might be swearing like a trooper at the bar moments before the show began, he might be the first in line to complain to the boss if you use any of the same language.
2 When telling a joke avoid the instant trouble spots that can best be summed up by, politics, religion, and sex. Other areas can present problems depending on the time and climate, but if in doubt you should learn to live by the old homily, “If in doubt, leave it out…” Boring but safe advice. No corporate booker wants an edgy entertainer unless they are a star who is famous for being edgy, and they probably shouldn’t hire them anyway. I once performed at a corporate event, and the previous year the company had hired the CEO’s favorite comedian Sandra Bernhard. The CEO was convinced the audience would love her, and he couldn’t have been more wrong. Even worse, as she began seriously bombing, she turned aggressively hostile towards the audience. Even as CEO that man was lucky to keep his job. I’m with the audience on this one!
3 Be politically correct, even if you are the only person at the event who is, you can’t say or do anything that looks in the least like it might approach being racist, sexist, or any other of those minefield words that end in ‘ism. I once performed at a training meeting for IBM (the computer people, not the magic clubs) and my contact gave me a very long lecture on the phone about the fact that there were going to be women present as part of the team. “You must not treat them in any way differently to the men,” he said. It was an early morning training session and as I arrived in the office, I heard this same executive saying, “OK, before we begin, why don’t you gals go and make the coffee and bring it in so we can begin the session.” Hmmm, that was a few years ago, maybe he has learned to walk the walk by now as well as talk the talk. Then again, perhaps he has been replaced by a female executive.
4 Be very careful about using volunteers to take part in your show. They must be treated with kid gloves, especially if they are brought up “onstage.” They are being placed on show in front of their business peers, and you must be sure that they are not embarrassed in any way. Put away any notion of performing that Instant Magician routine that killed in the school fundraiser. I used to ask my booking contact for some ideas about which of the spectators to be involved in my show. I stopped doing this because on way too many occasions I discovered that the person I had been steered towards was either the biggest asshole or the biggest drinker in the group. Apparently, they thought these attributes might make them especially useful assets to my performance.
Usually in after-dinner banquet shows the audience is a blend of the company’s sales team, their clients/buyers from other companies, and a smattering of home office executives. If you need to involve a participant from the audience, it is a lot safer to make it a member of the company’s sales team than anyone else. I also frequently emphasize a team-building theme with my handling of The Linking Finger Rings routine. This allows me to incorporate some suggestions about company involvement without needing to bring any of the participants up on stage. I can adapt patter about linking the sales team with the R & D team, and the executives with the engineers, etc. I have found this to be a very popular approach with my corporate clients. However, like so many other elements, I am a firm believer in not overdoing this approach, as always, less is often more.
5 Always have a very short introduction written up and printed on paper for the executive whose job is to introduce you. For some reason, if you utter the fatal words, “I’ll leave it to you….” Or “Say anything you like….” You will probably find that they read a five-page resume/bio about you that they found somewhere online that begins by talking about the school play you appeared in at age 11. For some reason, business executives never quite grasp what an intro is all about, and confuse it with a lengthy and audience-numbing list of credits. I have my intro and tech requirements on my website in an easily downloadable form, but it is still vital to have hard copies with you on the night
REMARKABLE MAGIC 
Spot on advice…I have booked talent for convention and corporate shows as a team member for a huge restaurant chain and you absolutely have to play it safe. We once fired a comedian after the first of a series of 9 convention shows. For some reason he felt it was his duty to be edgy and take risks with his comedy by using language and insulting jokes.